Letter from Lucy

Dear Mom,

Are you having fun in the US? I hope you are all okay there on your own, what without me there to look after you and keep you safe from dangers such as random people walking by the house, salesmen ringing the doorbell, and all the other things that my barking protects you from.

I appreciate you sending me somebody else for me to look after while you guys are gone. Sarah's good fun. She gives a good ear-scratch. She plays a mean game of blanket tug-of-war and is also good at toss-the-chew-toy. But she has some serious faults. For starters she's smart, she never falls for my I-haven't-eaten-yet dance, always remembering that you said I only get two meals a day (whydja have to go and tell her something like that?! I'd much prefer three or four meals!) She also has an annoying habit of not letting me chew her socks. I don't know why she won't let me do it, they are quite yummy! When we go for walks sometimes she walks too fast, forgetting that my legs are so little. I like to go slowly and stop to smell the roses er... the asphalt.

My real beef with this Sarah person, however, is what she did to me today. Would you believe she sent me off to the groomers?! I mean COME ON! What did I do to deserve that? So there were a few little tangles on my legs, but I had the situation under control - I was detangling them myself! Sarah tried to tell me that that was only making it worse and that I'd hurt myself, but really! The groomers?! And the way she sprung it on me too - I had no warning! One minute I was barking and trying to protect the house from the evil doorbell-ringers, and the next minute Sarah was handing me over to the groomer who had come to pick me up. So the car ride over to the shop wasn't bad, but... For barking out loud, they put sunflower clips on my ears... SUNFLOWERS. ON. MY. EARS! And my paws are all shorn now! But at least I still have my mohawk hairdo. I couldn't have forgiven her if the groomers did away with that one.

As soon as I got home I glared at Sarah and told her I wasn't ever going to forgive her. She bribed me with some treats and we cuddled on the couch before she took me on a nice long walk though, so I had to play nice and pretend to forgive her. But I'm going to keep my eye on her to make sure she doesn't pull a stunt like that again.

So come home soon, I miss you guys!

love,

LUCY

PS - just look at these sunflowers - disgraceful! Luckily none of the other dogs saw me wearing them!