Cultural Divide

So Christmas was a bit of a bust, and I was rather upset about it, especially it was U's first "real" Christmas. The silver lining is that we got another chance at a whole different holiday almost right away! By the time New Years rolled around we were both over our bouts of sickness and although my thesis and a paper he is way past due on meant we didn't have a lot of time for relaxing (and opted to spend it just the two of us at my place instead of turning it into me meeting his parents for the first time - wheeeeeee!) But in the end we had a great time, traditional and low-key and still lots of fun.

We started with decorations - kagami mochi (rice cake).



And then we watched the traditional New Year's eve TV programs Kohaku uta gassen - (literally "red-white song battle" a sing-off between the women/red and the men/white).




This year's surprise guest was Susan Boyle, who looked a little overwhelmed at being flown all the way around the world and showered with all the adoration (apparently she was randomly proposed to by a couple of different young cute Japanese guys!).



Then we bundled up in warm gear and headed out just before midnight. We were waiting for a train as it ticked down to midnight so we didn't have a countdown, and I didn't even get a New Year's kiss! (although I bullied poor U into giving me a quick peck on the cheek - aaack! public displays of affection - oooh! the horror!!) We headed into Tokyo, to Zojoji - or rather to the small Shiba Toshogu shrine next door. (I've had a thing for Toshogu ever since I first went to the biggest one in Nikko, and for a while was planning on studying the shrines as my PhD. That plan is no longer in play, but I still have a thing for Toshogu and U has developed a liking for them too, we've been known to spend hours trying to track an itty bitty one down...) Anyways, so we headed off to Zojoji...


Which, I found out later, is where a big count-down happens, so there were hordes of people there. Luckily, however, they were mostly leaving when we were arriving.



Shiba Toshogu lit up with paper lanterns was magical. I'd only ever seen it deserted in the middle of the day, so it was really special to see so many people there and see it so festive.

It was great fun, but we were getting cold and sleepy so we headed back to the station - walking past Starbucks that was both open and PACKED at 3 am! The train too was full, and it seemed surreal that it really was 3 am.

We came home and slept, getting up around midday on the first. U was in charge of food, but we had wimped out and bought a selection of traditional fare. I had tried various types of osechi (New Year's food) made by friends in Canada, and really liked it, but apparently it wasn't the "traditional stuff" that it turns out most people don't like much (or at least don't like unless they've had copious amounts of sake!) But both U and I like ozoni, a New Year's soup that varies widely from house to house and region to region. So I convinced U he should call his mom and ask for her recipe. As I suspected she was THRILLED that her son was making me ozoni and was even more thrilled that he wanted HER recipe (which turned out to be so basic it wasn't even a recipe!).

New Year's Dream

Last night (or rather this morning) U told me lucky New Year dreams - the kind you have when you sleep. He said that the best thing to dream about was Mt Fuji - that foretells great fortune and good luck. An eagle is second in line and an eggplant is third.

I don't tend to dream much, or at least I don't remember my dreams. When I'm particularly stressed or busy I tend to dream about whatever is stressing me - which is even more stressful as I can't get away from whatever it is even when I sleep! When I do remember my dreams they tend to be a weird mixture of things happened the previous day and whatever else is on my mind.

I didn't dream about the "big three" last night, but I woke up this morning with the vivid memory (that has since disappeared completely) of a dream of kado matsu - New Year's decorations with the triple good luck combination of pine, bamboo, and plum blossoms. Only the one in my dream didn't have any pine (besides the name - which literally means "gate pine") but it did have a strange animal - a cow that seemed to be dressed up as a tiger, or trying to change into a tiger. It wasn't until I was telling U about my dream for the second time that we both suddenly realized the symbolism - last year was the year of the cow, this year is the year of the tiger... U is convinced that my combination of all three of pine and bamboo and plum and the cow-turning-into-a-tiger animal in one dream completely trumps even Mount Fuji, ensuring only the best of luck for me in the coming year.

With my thesis due in less than two weeks I'm willing to take ANY suggestion of good luck!

Happy New Year!

Nengajo

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day 4 - Gingerbread

As a little girl I remember trying to make a gingerbread house from scratch with my mum... and having our gingerbread bake up into odd shapes which then caused the A-frame house to collapse multiple times on us! We made a few attempts, but ended up deciding to just admire the incredible works of art on display at a nearby annual Christmas fair.

Years later I was looking for something festive to do with a young second cousin and found a gingerbread house kit. We hit the local candy store and loaded up on decorations, made some colourful icing and created a masterpiece that my cousin proudly took home with her at the end of the day. We continued making houses for a few years, including one that we covered entirely in bright blue icing. And every year my cousin took the house home with her. She grew up, however, and I started making gingerbread houses (still from a kit) with my young step-sister. We had to keep her very active younger brother from the kitchen as his "help" tended to end with the house flattened and candy-less...

A few weeks back I found fully baked gingerbread house kits for sale at Ikea and was very very tempted. I don't have a young friend to send the house home with, however, and would thus have to display it in my small apartment (and then eat it or chuck it or whatever people do with a gingerbread house after they've made it), so I decided to go for a packet of heart-shaped gingerbread cookies instead...

U and I took a break from studying last night and decorated the cookies. I had picked up four colours of little chocolate writers and only one mini-star sprinkles for topping - not nearly enough choice! Unfortunately he chocolate writers were much more difficult to use than icing as the chocolate would harden and need to be re-melted in warm water.


Our cookies were definitely not works of art, but after solving one rather impressive mistake by sticking the cookie in my mouth I realized that while maybe decorating gingerbread cookies is not a tradition I want to continue, EATING them sure is!

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day 3 - Cookies

One of the mainstays of my family's Christmas was making - or rather icing - Grandma's Christmas cookies.

Someone, usually my Grandmother (my father has taken over the tradition in recent years), would make up a couple of batches of dough and leave it in the fridge. When the kids (and kids at heart) had been gathered we'd pull out the Christmas cookie cutters and bake sheets of bells, ornaments, Santas, trees, and snowmen. The icing, often upon my insistence and to my grandmother's disgust, would be made with too much food colouring, creating violent shades of magenta (never quite red), bright blue, lemon yellow, electric green, and vibrant purple.

Over the years various family and friends of all ages have tried their hand and created works of art...

(these two cookies iced as a surprise present for me from my young step-siblings)

This year my dad sent me the recipe and suggested I try making them to give to friends here. Since I don't have access to an oven, however, I decided instead to share them virtually. Then, when La Fuji Mama posted about the 12 Days of Sharing Virtual Cookie Jar (hosted by In Jennie's Kitchen to help raise awareness about childhood hunger in America) I knew just how to share my grandmother's recipe in a way that she would have supported fully.

*************************

Christmas Rolled Cookies

1 cup margarine
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
2-1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cream of tartar

Cream margarine with sugars, add egg and vanilla. Then add the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. Form into logs and wrap in wax paper. Refrigerate the dough for a couple of hours or up to a few days, then roll and cut into shapes.

Bake 8-10 min 350 oven until golden. Cool then ice and decorate.

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day 2 - Tree

In the comments to my last post, Cathy asked if I was going to have a Christmas tree this year. I wasn't planning on it... I really wasn't. But... well... I was shopping at the local mega-100 yen store and they had little fake trees for 300 yen... and suddenly there was one in my shopping basket! I couldn't help myself!

After being spoiled having grown up in an area of Canada with plenty of beautiful bushy and wonderfully pine-y real trees, and especially over the past few years when my father and I have gone out to a local tree farm and clambered through snow banks to pick and then cut down our very own tree... well, I thought that a fake tree just wouldn't cut it. But I pulled it out of the box and set it up anyways...


And while it didn't have a pine-y smell, it did litter little "needles" everywhere!


I still wasn't convinced, however...


And neither was the angel when she was placed atop the tree!




Hold on, what's that??


a baby penguin?


What are penguins doing on the tree???

The lights and most of the decorations (my penguin paper-clips aside) were bought at the 100 yen store along with the tree, so it is a rather simple affair, but with U's help...


I think it turned out alright after all.

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day 1 - Traditions

Over the past few months, as my relationship has developed with U, and a number of my Japanese friends have remarked - either jokingly or with relief - that this likely means I'll be here for the long run, I have started reading the blogs of a number of foreign women married to Japanese men and raising bi-cultural kids in Japan. I'm certainly not anywhere ready to take any vows, but it has got me to thinking about the possibility of that future for me. Reading through past posts (can you tell I'm procrastinating from the thesis?!) written by these women I've realized just how difficult it can be to celebrate occasions and continue traditions important to only one parent.

Since I'll be spending my first Christmas in Japan (thesis is due January 13, not conducive to trans-Pacific travel!), and U, who has never celebrated Christmas before, and I will be spending our first Christmas together, I began to think about the traditions I want to hold on to, and some new ones I want to start.

Growing up, Christmas was a day of family. When I was very young my parents and I would fly to Vancouver to spend the holidays with my father's family. We moved to Vancouver the summer before I started grade one, and I still remember my excitement of living permanently in a city that for me was full of good food, presents, and grandparents and other relatives (I was the first grandchild) spoiling me rotten. We continued to spend Christmas with my dad's family, which grew to include my two younger cousins as well as aunts, an uncle, and my grandparents. Every year we'd gather at my grandparents, then in later years at my aunt and uncle's place. After my grandmother passed away, however, and my cousins and I grew up, getting all of us together for Christmas began to happen less and less. The past few years its been just my dad and I - with family friends joining us for dinner. This year will be only my second one away from Canada and my dad, my first being 5 years ago when I was volunteering in India.

This year, with my thesis hanging over me, I don't have a lot of time, but I don't want the holiday to slip by without recognition, so I'm plotting to include as many traditions as I can. With the cultural collision that is bound to happen, if they end up coming out looking nothing like what I'm used to, that will only make it all the more memorable - like door-to-door caroling at the homes of Hindu friends in the warmth of an Indian evening dressed in a red and green sari and reindeer antlers! So, stay tuned - while there may not be 12 days of Christmas for me this year, there will at least be a few, and who knows what will happen!

my usual Christmas dinner role - making gravy
Only this time it accompanied fried chicken, had to be enough to feed 40 people,
and I had to try not to stain my festive sari!

Another Year Gone

The other night I went with a couple of friends to Kokuryo, in western Tokyo, to see the special one-night light up of cherry blossoms along the Nogawa river. The trees in their glory are lit in a stunning display that is breathtakingly magical.



I had gone last year as well, it had been the evening of the entrance ceremony at school, and I was nervous about what the coming year would bring. My friend (my sempai, or student senior to me) reassuring me that I could handle what I was about to undertake. This year as we walked slowly along the path - dodging small children, slow moving elderly women, older men with huge cameras, and young women waving cell phone cameras - I found myself thinking about the past year, and the year to come. As an announcement was made over the PA that it was almost 9 pm and the lights would be turned off shortly, my sempai turned to me and said "I look forward to coming back next year with you!" I smiled but reminded her I didn't even know if I'd be in the country in 11 months. Again she reassured me, but I found myself wondering whether I would be able to see the stunning display again next year, and generally what the coming year would bring.

With this train of thought, it was quite fitting then, that as 9 pm approached, the strains of "Auld Lang Syne"* came over the PA system and slowly, one by one, the huge lights were extinguished. My friends and I had paused near the half-way point of the display, to watch the lights go out. We were lucky enough to see a incredible display, however, as the section where we had stopped was also equipped with huge spot lights that had coloured lights, and the blossom-laden trees were suddenly purple, then white again, then blue, and then pink, and orange... It was beautiful. At one point the trees became a mass of waving light, and then at the end the orange spots were concentrated at the centre of the trees which suddenly appeared as if on fire at the core. It was stunning and the watching crowd broke into applause when the lights finally went out.






*(At the end of the day at the museum where I work, and any number of other museums/businesses/restaurants/whatever in Japan, closing will be announced over a PA system. There will be a ten or fifteen minute warning accompanied by the strains of a song, that to a Westerner, brings up champagne clouded thoughts of New Year's celebrations. In Japan "Auld Lang Syne" signifies not the end of the year, but the end of the business day.)


In Japan cherry blossoms are said to represent a truly Japanese love of transient beauty. As the height of blossoms in Tokyo was this past weekend, the petals have started falling. The museum where I work is situated in a park famous for its sakura. When I went for lunch today petals were falling with every light gust of wind, settling in people's hair and carpeting the ground in pale pink snow. Transience was certainly in evidence and I found myself thinking again about the start of a new year...

Hinamatsuri

March 3 is Hinamatsuri, the Doll Festival, or Girl's Day in Japan. Displays of traditional dolls get put up in homes, train stations (only in Japan would these be without any security measures!), department stores, and just about everywhere else. Museums (including where I work!) often do exhibits related to dolls, and everything seems to be pink and red.

Wikipedia has a good explanation of the festival and the placement of the different dolls. La Fuji Mama gives a good description of some of the celebrations that are held by families with daughters.

I have a collection of dolls from around the world, packed in boxes at my dad's house. The dolls were bought for me by my dad when he traveled, or when we traveled as a family, a souvenir from each country or region we visited. (I think this was my dad's way of making sure he could get me a souvenir I'd be happy with, as I wasn't always the most traditional of kids... When I was about 7 he went to Israel for a conference. Before he went he asked me what I wanted him to bring me back - figuring I'd ask for a stuffed camel or something. Nope. I wanted a stuffed squirrel. Somehow he managed to find one in the gift shop of one of the airports he transferred through! I did get a camel too. Dad's are amazing, aren't they?)

Anyways... where was I? Ahhh, yes... my doll collection... Since I have a collection, I was naturally interested in Hinamatsuri from the moment I first heard about it. My host family put up an impressive display of dolls and the little 3 year-old knew well enough that these dolls were NOT for playing. The two of us would sit in front of the display and play with other dolls, she'd pause every so often and talk to the empress doll, or show her the toy being played with.

I don't have daughters, nor do I have space for a large display of dolls, but I try to put out some sort of display every year. Last year one of my friends from school gave me a set of emperor and empress dolls she had made from origami. They are beautiful (and fold away flat for storage not taking up much space!) and I was thrilled to have such a special personal display.

the Emperor and Empress (Odairi-sama & Ohina-sama)

The friend made more this year, and I asked her for a set to send to a friend in Canada. Imagine my surprise then, a few days later when she called and said she had something to give me, and could she drop by after work (she works very close to where I live). She arrived and presented me with a red origami envelope box, which turned out to contain a smaller set of emperor and empress dolls along with their three serving girls and five musicians! I am so excited to have my own set, and am already contemplating trying to add a few more pieces myself each year.

the Emperor

the Empress

the whole group



the 5 musicians

small drum player

large drum player

hand drum player

flautist

singer

the 3 serving ladies

Thinking Day

Lord Baden Powell, the founder of Boy Scouts, and his wife, shared February 22 as their birthday. It is still celebrated today, as one of the biggest events in the scouting year. Today is World Thinking Day, a day for Girl Guides and Scouts around the world to think about each other, the incredible movement Lord Baden Powell started, and the annual theme.

The theme chosen by the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS), this year was "stop the spread of AIDS, malaria, and other diseases." In my area, it was decided that we would enlarge that to the general theme of health for our annual area event. Eleven units from the area participate, with upwards of 150 girls and leaders. Last year we had an international event, and the girls visited booths for the 4 World Centres as well as ones for Japan and Korea. A friend and fellow Sangam volunteer helped me run the India booth. This year I found myself volunteering to run the booth again, this time trying to add an international flair to health. I enlisted the help of a variety of Brownie handbooks I've collected from around the world, and did a presentation on the ways in which 6-9 year-olds learn about health/safety in Guiding/Scouting.

I had the girls start by looking at the photographs, and asked them which uniform they liked the most, and which badges they liked the best. Canada, the UK, and New Zealand have all recently overhauled their uniforms to make them more appealing to girls. I remember how excited we were as girls when the old Brownie dress was first replaced by a striped t-shirt. I remember the hype when I was a leader and the brown t-shirts were replaced by more appealing peachy orange shirts. I was expecting the girls to like these uniforms the best but was rather suprised to find that while a few girls picked the pink t-shirts of the Kiwi uniform, almost all the girls chose the green blouse and skirt of the Philippines, the most traditional of the uniforms (also the one most similar to what they were wearing). When I mentioned this to the other leaders they weren't surprised, which surprised me even more. Were the girls today just choosing the skirt because they thought it looked nicer, not because it was the one they wanted to wear? Or are Japanese girls more used to uniforms with skirts?

I talked a little bit about what Brownies in each of the 8 countries (Canada, the US, Japan, India, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, and the UK) learn about health and had the girls guess which country I was talking about. Sometimes this was easy - "Little Friends" in Sri Lanka learn how to deal with snake bites, to walk 10 m with a weight of at least 1 kg balanced on their head, the importance of drinking at least 5 glasses of water everyday, and how to mix rehydration solution. In Canada Brownies learn about hypothermia and frostbite, and play outdoor games. In the US Brownies have a huge number of choices (at least twice many of the other countries) of individual interest patches, and are taught to have confidence in their uniqueness while they are encouraged to think about how their bodies are changing.

After the country had been matched to its program, we played memory - matching badge and country name. The girls seemed to enjoy themselves and both girls and leaders alike were fascinated by all the different badge books. It was a fun event to plan, and made me realize again that while the packaging varies widely, the contents of Guiding/Scouting around the world doesn't change much. (and that I'm going to have to keep collecting Brownie books from as many countries as I can!)

We ended the day, as always, with the friendship circle (the squeeze took a looooooong time to go through 150 people!) and closing song. As we sang I thought about all the Thinking Day events I've partipated in over the years - sticking pennies on a world map as a Brownie, laying flowers at the foot of pictures of Lord and Lady Baden Powell at my first Japanese Thinking Day, and of course the incredible day at Sangam my year in India. I thought also about my Guiding friends (one of whom has also been planning her own event over the past few days) and realized, once again, how lucky I am to be a part of an organization that has given me so much.

(Then, because I had been up most of the night planning, and because I spent the day in a freezing school gym wearing a t-shirt and talking almost constantly, I just about keeled over. I barely managed to get home, and as soon as I did I crashed for a three hour nap!)

Barentine Day

I remember in elementary school we used to decorate Valentines boxes that we would then hang on our desks or by our lockers. Kids would make cards, or normally just write a name on the back of a store-bought card and slip it into the boxes of other students. Our teacher would always urge us to be fair and give cards to EVERYBODY in the class, but there seemed to always be one or two boys who didn't get anything. The rest of us would sit there with our cards, often from box sets with cutesy illustrations and some sort of bad pun or the line "Be my Valentine."

Outside of elementary school, Valentines Day seemed to be about flowers and chocolates, and maybe a nice dinner in a romantic restaurant.

Valentines Day in Japan is another one of those Western traditions that has been adopted and... well... changed quite a bit in the process...

Here February 14th is a day for women to give chocolates to the men in their life. If there is a guy they like he gets preferably a homemade treat, although expensive store bought goodies will also do. Other men, men that the women do not like but feel they have to be nice to, get what are called "giri-choco" (literally duty-chocolate). These chocolates, as with any gift in Japanese society, must be reciprocated. The occasion for this reciprocation is March 14, "White Day," when men give women (white) chocolate or candy in return.

My host father in southern Japan is the principal of an elementary school. Every year he gets chocolates from various students and brings it home (he doesn't actually like chocolate, but makes a big fuss over every gift and the girls LOVE him). My host mother (who loves chocolate but hates the work involved with Valentines) then makes a list of all the girls who gave chocolate, with a guesstimate of how much they spent on the gift. Prior to White Day she will then go out and buy reciprocatory gifts which my host-father will endeavour to give to the girls who gave him chocolate - without singling them out (so as not to make the other kids jealous).

Two years ago, when I was teaching English my cousin visited me just before Valentines and we made a huge batch of peanut butter cups. I gave these out to students and co-workers and it was a big hit - many of the young Japanese guys who taught at the cram school were sooooo excited to be given home-made Valentines chocolates, it was really sweet! The trouble was I quit at the beginning of March - before White Day! Sigh.

This year I'm making peanut butter cups again. I started by melting the chocolate and peanut butter in a pan...



and then I spooned the mixture into heart-shaped foil cups...



and... ta da!



This year, the chocolates (one box of milk and one of dark)



got wrapped up real purty-like



and are going to be given to one particular guy. He isn't Japanese, however, so doesn't feel the need to wait until March. He didn't even wait until Valentines Day to take a page from my elementary school memories and ask me to be his Valentine!