Saturday 5 March 2011

Guilt

I was all set to write my TILT post on Thursday when I opened my email inbox to find an email that started:
Dear Sarah, your father is fine but"
(which of course means he is quite anything but fine!!!)
"he is in the hospital."
(fine?! fine?! They don't just randomly hospitalize people who are FINE!")

With the time difference it was about 12 hours before I could actually try and call my dad, and in the end nearly a fullday before I got a hold of him. While I knew he had injured his knee in "a fall" I didn't know what had happened so my over-active imagination made off with my over-achieving worry gene and the two had some sort of picnic where they feasted on a whole lot of far-away-from-home-only-child guilt. I know my father is surrounded by family (especially his wonderful elder sister!) and plenty of friends too, but he lives alone and the guilt for not being there myself was pretty strong.

U snuck out of the lab to call me as soon as he got my text message. He was ready to throw me on a plane immediately and then follow me as soon as he could himself. (have I mentioned that I love the boy? No wonder my dad does too!)

Once I did get through to my dad, once I heard his voice and got the story behind the "fall" (suffice to say that while I appear to be the only one in the family with the ability to consistently walk into doorframes and trip over my own feet, at least I tend to notice huge holes in the pavement in front of me) I felt a lot better. Yes, I am still worried about my dad, and yes, he has 6 weeks of not bending his leg (making all the stairs at his place just a tad tricky to manage), but he truly is fine. He won't be galavanting off around the globe for the research trips he had planned, and will surely drive his big sis batty as she has so kindly agreed to have him spend a few weeks with her at her (stairless) home. But once he can walk again hopefully he'll be coming to Japan for a nice long visit with his very far away only child.

4 comments:

  1. arrrghhh, the worst kind of email - especially when you don't get it at a time to be able to do anything. that wait is excruciating. So glad to hear your dad is OK and hope he can manage to not bend it for so long.

    Also hope he can come and visit you soon. I am one of four and quite often I say oh well, my brother is living at home (now next door) and my sister down the street and my other sister only an hour plan ride away. Must be hard being the only one :( xxx

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  2. That must have been some picnic that your imagination and worry gene had! One good thing about your dad is that he's not the kind of parent (or person) who would ever want you to feel guilty about not being there. I think that comes from his absolute confidence in your love.
    love and hugs, Cath

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  3. Gaijinwife - It really was such a relief to finally get a hold of him - after waking up in the middle of the night and fruitlessly trying to call.

    His leg is in a strap on brace to keep it immobilized, so no problem not bending it, it is the whole getting around with the brace on thing that seems to be causing trouble!

    I've often wished I had siblings (despite, or perhaps because of all the tales and rants I've heard others make about their siblings) and this is just one more reason.

    Cath - by all accounts it was a very impressive picnic with a gourmet spread and a wine list in the triple digits! ;)

    I know dad isn't one to want me to feel guilty. I started this post with what turned into an overly mushy (and thus deleted) intro about how dad was the one who supported me in my dreams that took me further and ever further from home, and how he's never shown anything but pride for what I've done and where I've been (backed up by his comment to the nurse when I did get through to him, he said "Its my daughter... calling from TOKYO!!")

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  4. I know all about that gourmet spread!

    Your father is very much like his mother in that way of being able to love/accept their children as they are and encourage them in their dreams. I was just thinking about your grandma the other day, and how wonderful it was to know her for a little while.

    love and hugs, Cath

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