Friday, 28 January 2011

Great Expecations

When I took U home for Christmas many friends asked if he was going to be asking for my dad's permission for my hand. I got pretty tired of coming up with responses as nothing I said seemed to satisfy anybody. But apparently that was only a trial run, small fry to the expectations awaiting us on our return...

When U and I arrived at his parent's place a few weeks ago (a week or so after getting back) for a large family gathering his father's first words were "So do you have a big announcent to make?"

After meeting me his female cousins (of 8 in their generation only 2 are male and the other guy was the only member if the clan not at the gathering) started discussing good locations for weddings. The result was that Nara would be nice.

U's father couldn't keep his eyes off me when I demonstrated proper baby-holding skills while holding the youngest member of the family so her grandma could actually eat.

U has apparently been told by multiple members of his family to "make things official" before I have te chance to "run away."


And, before anybody asks, no, there are no plans to live up to those expectations quite yet. One step at a time, and our next step is moving in together over the next couple of months. Somehow I think that's only going to ratchet up the expectations and comments, however!


  1. CONGRATULATIONS!... on not thumping anyone!!

    You must be happy though that the nagging came from both families, it shows that you are both well liked and that welcome in each others families.

    Moving in together is a great idea. An international marriage is really hard work, there have been many times during our 8 years that I just wanted to pack up and go home. I have to remind myself though that Aussie/Aussie couples have just as many problems.

    ... and don't worry over the time you're together there'll be lots of chances to get everyones chin wagging!!

  2. I was about to comment but really just ditto everything achan said!! Meeting the parents is a bigger deal here so not surprised your going home together brought comments. Cut that they don't want you to 'run away' :)

    Hub and I didn't live together first. Like achan I have thought about going home several times but have to tell myself that couples in NZ have problems too and having similar problems over here really just makes you stronger as you have more to lose. Can't just pack up and run home at the drop of a hat.

    Christ, not that you're going to. Sorry, that sounds very pessimistic. I guess really all it means is that you should have a frypan in the draw by year seven of marriage so at least you can threaten him with it :)

    Or fry eggs or whatever else you fancy doing with a frypan.


    PS. Good luck with the apartment hunt

  3. Achan - thanks! Yes, the nagging probably is a good thing, and yes, I am sure an announcement wouldn't stop the nagging - U's father's reaction to me holding the baby suggests to me that an announcement would only give temporary relief before a different type of nagging began, all the flstronger! And then would start the "advice"....

    Ah well.... ;)

    GW - I will make sure our new apartment is stocked with a full array of frypans for various degrees of transgressions - and omelettes!

    The being further away from home meaning you have to work at it harder thing - that makes sense. Living together first makes sense to me, and I told U quite a while back that it was something that was important to me. We'll see how it goes... I'll likely have plenty of complaint photos to send you, tho I'm sure he'll have just as many. Give and take...

  4. One step at a time sounds perfectly right and wise to me. U's family sounds very cute. Love is a grand adventure - I hope you enjoy every step, and have the good luck with U that each step further deepens your love for each other. (And I'd stay away from the frying pans!)
    love and hugs, C

  5. At least it's encouraging that the comments are "marry her before she gets away" rather than "I can't believe you want to pollute our pure Japanese bloodline with her filthy foreignness!" Still pressure but I think if I were in the same situation I'd prefer that kind ;)

    Have you told them that you want to move in together first? I'm not sure if S's family ever really realised that we lived together (albeit briefly) IN SIN before getting married. Definitely something that has to be done though, you need to know what you're getting yourself in for before it's too late! ;)

  6. Umebossy - I agree, U's family's comments are MUCH better than they could be! No, we haven't told them about moving in together yet. Hopefully it won't be a big deal, as long as we explain that it is the step before a bigger step... We'll see, I very well may have something to blog about in a month or so! ;)