Saturday 12 October 2013

A letter

Dear Mum,

Over the past few weeks I've found myself wishing more than normal that I could pick up the phone and call you. I wish I could gush about my engagement, talk wedding plans, ask questions, and get advice.

Then yesterday there was an announcement far more important than my engagement or wedding plans - the announcement of this year's Nobel Prize for Literature. A Canadian won, mum. A Canadian woman! One of your favourites, Alice Munro. You would have been so happy. You would have been so proud. (Am I allowed to admit that I was rooting for another one of your favourites, Margaret Atwood, and was initially disappointed, until I realized that this was just as exciting!)

With the time difference between Tokyo and Vancouver, I heard about the announcement when you would probably have been still asleep. I would have loved to have called you, woken you up and shouted the news in your ear (apparently the same thing that happened to Alice Munro - her daughter called her and woke her up with the news).

But I can't call you, mum. So I'm writing you this letter. Maybe you already know about Alice Munro, maybe you're toasting her with the likes of Kipling, Tagore, Yeats, and Hemingway. I'd like to think that. (say hi to them for me, eh?)

I'd also like to think that you've given U and I your blessing. I think you'd like him (even if the rings we chose are nothing like the one you chose when you and dad got married - not shape, not colour, not size!)

I miss you mum.

Love,
Sarah

12 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me tear up at work, Sarah =) Beautiful letter to your mum.

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    1. Thanks Colette! This was not my intention when I started writing the post, but it just sort of happened...

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  2. Oh, Sarah ...

    Won't say more than that, and you know why.

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    1. Ru, I am so sorry.

      The post wrote itself ended up somewhere different from where I intended. I hit publish and immediately though maybe I should email you and tell you not to read this post... I was worried it might be too much for you.

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  3. Weird, I can't reply to your comment . . . . It was a combination of happy/sad tearing up. Happy because it was beautiful; Sad, the reason why. Sad also because we are kindrid spirits in this situation. And I would need to write two letters - one to the one I knew, and one to the one I only remember in pictures :( I don't think I"ve actually sat down and written a letter like you have here, but in my journal writings there is usually a "wish I should share this with you" in there when life events happen. It's hard, and crappy, but it's the lot we were dealt with in life. Big, huge HUGS from me to you across the Pacific =)

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    1. I only write letters occasionally, and wasn't intending to this time, but once I started typing... it just sort of came out - maybe an indication I should write more letters? I find it does help, but maybe part of that is that my mum left me letters. She left a few letters with things - like in her jewelry box telling me where and who the things came from, and a few letters just because that have been given to me at certain times or that I have just stumbled upon.

      It is hard, it is crappy, but you are right, it is what we have to deal with and deal we do. Hugs back to you!

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  4. I'm sure your mum would be very proud Sarah, both for a Canadian woman winning and with Yu. I'm sure you would of loved to share many things with her over the years...

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    1. Achan - my mum was a professor of English, her main area of specialty was Canadian literature. While her own research was more in Canadian poetry, she was also interested in Canadian literature as a whole and she was a staunch feminist. She would have been delighted with the award being won by a Canadian, by a woman, and by an oft-overlooked genre of literature.

      There are many times when, as a woman, you want to have your mother there for you. My engagement and wedding planning is not the first, and I know it won't be the last, time when I will miss my mum even more. But I am lucky to have a wonderfully supportive group of women around me, extra sisters and mothers as my mum called them, for she lost her own mother before her wedding.

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    2. Dear Sarah

      I thought of your Mum as well. Yes, she would have been so happy with the news - both concerning Alice Munro and even more so your engagement and wedding plans. Love, Ann

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    3. Dear Ann - thanks for your comment. It means a lot to me. While I cannot introduce U to my mum I look forward to introducing U to you!
      Love, Sarah

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  5. Replies
    1. Thank you. Sharing this, putting these words out there, isn't the same as actually being able to talk to my mum, but it does help. So thank you for your comment and for reading the post.

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