Karmic balance

I wasn't actually feeling truly evil this morning. Petty? Hell yes! But not evil. My morning commute does not bring out the best in me, but I know I'm not the only one, and and I'm rather glad to know that I'm not alone in the desire to level other commuters for something they probably don't even realize they're doing (or at the very least could care less that they are).

Comments on my last post made me laugh and dispelled any residual guilt I might have been feeling. But that doesn't mean I didn't jump at the chance to right my karma on my way home.

I came down the stairs from the platform, almost home and mentally running through my shopping list. But I still caught what most of the other tired commuters missed - the old man standing by the elevator juggling bags of shopping, his big umbrella, and a walking stick. Or at least he was trying to juggle it all. The bags were just a little too much, however, and his walking stick clattered to the ground. He steadied himself with his right arm against the railing, turning his back on his dropped stick as he tried to manage everything in his left hand. The sea of commuters washed past in a rush to get to the gate. I fought against the tide, however, and broke through. When I got to the clear area by the elevator I leaned down and picked up the walking stick. The man slowly turned around and I gave him a smile and said "dozo" as I held out his stick.

I was feeling pretty self-satisfied and all warm and fuzzy for helping out the poor old guy. I was even congratulating myself for the karmic balancing act of helping out somebody who really needed the help after having done nothing this morning.

Then suddenly the cheesy music screeched to a halt as the old man just looked at me. He didn't seem quite sure what to make of me, but he reached out and coldly and very gingerly reclaimed his stick. He managed a weak thank you but it was clear from the glare he gave me as I turned away and the way he was gingerly holding his stick with only the very tips of his fingers that he was convinced I was out to get him in some way. Maybe he thought I had infected his stick with all sorts of horrible disease, covering it with the spores of some sort of gaijin pox in the few seconds that I had held it?

Who knows.

I let the crowd of commuters carry me out the gates, did my grocery shopping, and went home, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground in front of me so as not to notice anything that might be dropped. I've had quite enough of that for one day.

Am I evil?

The woman behind me on the train this morning who's briefcase was digging into my calves, shoved me aside when we and half of the train got off to transfer. Every morning the scene from the three stooges is played out as half the train tries to get off at the same time and nobody goes anywhere until suddenly we pop out and all dash for our connections.

Anyways, briefcase lady shoves me from behind, which has the opposite to her desired effect as I end up getting shoved into somebody who isn't moving and get 'stuck.' She makes annoyed noises and shoves harder. I pop out of the train and am hurtled half way to the stairway u take to my next train. Briefcase lady clatters by at a sprint on her ridiculously high-heeled boots (completely useless in any type of winter weather). She dodges in front of me at the top of the staircase and her expensive black scarf is fluttering free on one side. The cuts in front of me and her scarf floats under the raised for of a still half-asleep salaryman on auto-commute. Feeling something underfoot he jerks awake and briefcase lady clatters on down the stairs oblivious to her scarf lyig at the top and being trampled by swarms of commuters.

Her shoulder is right infront of me. I could lean out and alert her to her lost scarf. I should do so. I normally do so. But not today. The almost bruises on my calves stop me and I take the stairs two at a time, my non-heeled shoes requiring less care. I reach the platform before her and out of the corner of my eye I see her cut off a handful of people as she cuts across the bottom of the stairs and dashes down the platform (no train in sight) still oblivious to her bare neck.

I half smirk to myself and wonder, am I evil?

Thursday?

- mid-week days off (even if they are spent running errands!)
- meals with good friends
- my local kushiyaki-ya (skewers of meat and veg grilled or fried - yummm!)
- warm sunshine
- starting a lace project for a friend (and savouring the surprise - she doesn't know yet)

Wordless Wednesday - Canadian Sunset 2

Thud

Despite the fact that the Ann's in my family were quite without e's, I loved Anne of Green Gables as I was growing up. I read the books with my mum, and then over and over again on my own. I loved the TV movie series - that is until they went all odd and had Anne gallivanting around war-torn Europe in search of Gilbert.

Most of the time I found Anne just a little too much - I tend to be a little bit more logical than her and her romantic imagination. But other times...

One scene from the second movie is running through my head right now:

Marilla Cuthbert: You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don't get them.

Anne Shirley: I know. I can't help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It's as glorious as soaring through a sunset... almost pays for the thud.

Marilla Cuthbert: Well, maybe it does. But I'd rather walk calmly along and do without flying AND thud.

I'm definitely with Anne on this one, I'm a flier. I'm pretty good at aiming high and have been luckily enough that there haven't been too many thuds. But I got one yesterday, a pretty darn big one. I was almost to that sunset, I got to the second of three rounds but in the end there were essentially four people competing for one single spot and I didn't make it.

Sigh...

I have a to-do list that is a mile long, so the short-term promises to keep me busy. As for the longer term, however, or the professional side... my contract at the museum is being renewed, and that is enough to at least cushion the thud. Now if I only had a plate of Marilla's famous plum puffs...

Wordless Wednesday - Canadian Sunset 1